I'm not sure when my last post was, but I know it's been a while. A long while. Upon looking it has been over a year. A lot has changed, but in all honesty most of those changes have been in the past 3 months.
A very brave friend of mine has started a blog and is sharing her battle with a mental illness and I was inspired to share my recent struggles and triumphs.
Lets dive right in and start with the biggest change. I left my firm. It was terrifying at first and I had to do a lot of soul searching because there were a lot of people at that firm who had been very good to me and a lot of clients who I didn't want to disappoint. Yet when it came down to it, I wasn't happy. I wasn't getting anywhere and I really wasn't making any money. So I started doing the rounds and thanks to a business coach with a knack for getting to the point, I got connected with some of the most successful women in the Victoria financial world.
I interviewed 4 different firms and decided on one that fit the life I want now and the life I want in the long run. By Christmas Eve an offer was in my email inbox. It was exciting, but it also meant I had to take on the unpleasant task of quitting my existing job. One slightly uncomfortable meeting later, I was free of my firm.
Since January 13 I have been back in study mode and upgrading my licenses. This is going to be the case for another month or so, then I can get back to my work. I will say that I've realized how much I really love what I do in the past few months because I am starting to lose my mind.
After I finish with this whole "studying" thing, I get to work harder than I have... ever. I am excited, nervous, terrified. I am expected to quadruple my productivity. Thank god I have one of the cities best business coaches on my side!
On a more personal note: Ian and I are finally moving forward with the whole buying our first home thing. We are looking at this sweet little condo not that far from where we are now, but we are waiting on making an offer because my wonderful husband is out of town. We are hopefully going to see it again and make an offer this weekend and this week has been incredibly stressful watching the listing and hoping that another offer doesn't come in! I keep trying to be zen about the whole thing, you know, "it all happens for a reason" and "if this falls apart something better will come along" but if I'm being super honest... I've already pretty much moved in.
Here is the confessional part of this post. Yes I left the hard part to the end. Over the past few years... well pretty much ever since I graduated from high-school my body has been expanding in a way that I'm not very happy about. I'm pretty sure that my diet hasn't exactly helped things, I have a weak spot for potato chips, french fries and anything else that is starchy and salty.
So here we go... my weight has ballooned to almost 180 pounds. Which is a really scary number for me. Now to give you some perspective, when I was at my physical peak in high-school I weighed around 150. Thanks to dense bones and muscles I have always been listed in the "overweight" category, but the last few years I've been inching closer and closer to the overweight description being accurate. It's time that changed. I'm not delusional though, I know that the coming stress and lack of time is not going to be kind to the process of losing weight. I also know that it took over 10 years to put this weight on and it's going to take some time to take it off. My goal is to make healthier choices in regards to my eating habits and how much I move during the day. Right now, studying all the time this is a challenge. The first thing I did was join Sole Sisters, which is a running/walking group for women only. This has been a small step, but a good one.
The other thing that I am struggling with and this is not new, is my desire to be amazing at everything I do. It's the perfectionist inside screaming to get out. Every few months I break down about the fact that I can't have a spotless house, successful business with a big income, perfect body and be wife of the century who always has (a healthy) dinner on the table at 6pm sharp. Yes, I do think this is possible... and put huge pressure on myself to be all those things I mentioned and more.
This has been surprisingly cathartic. I know I need to be more kind to myself, and I am working on that.
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